How do you stop comparing your writing to other people’s work?
When I worked in afterschool care, there was a five year old girl who always got super excited for craft time. She couldn’t wait to make some crafts.
Then, within the first ten minutes, she got frustrated and had a meltdown, because her craft didn’t look like the example that I threw together five minutes beforehand.
Every single time, the issue was something fixable. But she destroyed her work and burst into tears, because the second she compared it to the example, she gave up.
And yes, she was a five year old. She needed a nap.
Still, imagine if she actually let me help her, before she destroyed her work and went straight into a meltdown.
I sympathize with this little girl. When something comes out different than I want it to, it’s really frustrating. I get it.
It’s hard to stop comparing your work to others. So how do we stop?
This is something I still struggle with. However, I have found some tips and tricks that really help me focus on myself and my writing, without comparing it to other stories.
1. Lower Your Expectations
One of the reasons you think your story sucks is because you’re holding your work to unattainable standards.
If you’re writing a story for the sole purpose of having something to publish, your standards will be too high.
Do you want your first novel to be a long epic fantasy with a strong cast of characters, riveting plot twists, and a deeply symbolic theme? Your standards may be too high.
Want to write a story that won’t need any editing? Your standards are too high.
Your focus should be on finishing the rough draft, by any means necessary.
Don’t focus on creating a good story that won’t need to be edited. Every story needs editing.
When your hopes are too high for one story, you’ll hate anything that falls short.
So do yourself a favor and lower your expectations a bit.
Some good writing standards to aim for:
- Finish your rough drafts
- Leave space to explore your stories as you write
- Compliment your own writing
- Enjoy the process right now, not your idealized version of the process
Once you fix your expectations, your story won’t look so terrible in your eyes.
I like my car. If I tried to use it to race the Daytona 500, I wouldn’t like it any more. My car in the Daytona 500 would be an absolute failure.
Your expectations define how you feel about your story. Make sure your expectations are at the right level.
2. Don’t Ask for Feedback if You’re Not Ready
There comes a point in your writing journey when you need to learn how to accept feedback.
If you’re not there yet, that’s okay!
Don’t feel pressured into sharing your work. If you don’t feel ready to hear the (brutally honest) truth, you don’t need to ask for feedback.
As writers, we tend to glorify thick skin.
While it’s important to grow thick skin eventually, I feel like there’s too much pressure for young writers to immediately start sharing all their work and asking for brutal critiques.
If you don’t feel confident in your story, it’s okay to keep it to yourself.
Especially for teen writers and writers who never plan to get published, you don’t need thick skin. You don’t need other people to rip your story to shreds, because “real writers get rejected.”
That’s like a young girl refusing to eat because she wants to be a model in 5 years.
It’s a harmful practice that you don’t need to be exposed to yet.
When you eventually try to get in the mainstream publishing world, then you will meet some rejection. Don’t try to “get used to it” now. You don’t need to get used to it yet.
If you struggle with comparing your work to others, try taking a break from beta readers or posting your work online. Focus on repairing your relationship with writing first.
3. Find Inspiration, Not Jealousy
Jealousy is a big struggle for writers.
When you start comparing your writing, the first emotion that comes up is jealousy.
Why can’t I write like that? Why does this story make sense, and mine doesn’t?
I’ve written about writer’s jealousy on this blog, and you can read about it here: Your Competition is Not Your Enemy.
To sum it up, the best way to defeat jealousy is to see other writers as your inspiration, not your competition.
Let other people’s plots, settings, and characters inspire your own. (Don’t copy, just take some inspiration here and there.)
Remember that they started at the same place you did, and you will get there eventually.
Just like the five year old during craft time, you might not be able to match the example.
And you know what? That’s okay. The main thing is that you’re having fun.
There’s a scene in Parks and Rec where Leslie Knope shows the camera that she has a picture of herself on her wall of inspiring women. She says, “I’m big enough to admit that I’m often inspired by myself.”
That’s the level we should all aspire to.
What do you think? How do you avoid comparing your work to other stories?
Thanks for reading, and I’ll be back next week with a new post!
Definitely guilty of playing the comparison game! I try to remember that I’m still a relatively new writer, that rough drafts aren’t supposed to measure up to all my favorite published reads, and that different doesn’t mean bad. My book may not have the same writing style, twists, arcs, themes, or innovative magic systems as others out there, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be just as entertaining. I still fall victim to the dangers of comparison from time to time, but it’s something I’m working on.
Girl, the struggle is real! It’s so important to appreciate your work for what it is, but it’s definitely tough to learn. You’ve got this!
Comparison is definitely something I struggle with a lot. THANK YOU SO MUCH for this post!!!! I am definitely going to use some of these tips, especially the first one!!! That’s SUCH great advice to lower your expectations. I always come with waaaaaay too high expectations. One thing I usually do to help me with comparison is to remind myself that when I’m reading a book and comparing it to mind, I’m looking at an author’s polished manuscript and comparing it to my first draft. That’s not fair to the author or to me. 🙂 Loved this post!!
Thanks for the comment! Yes, it is definitely a struggle to stop comparing ourselves to published authors. But especially since they had a team of people help edit and polish their book, we should be proud of what we can accomplish with just ourselves! 🙂