Hello again, and welcome to the new and improved website!
Today, I’d like to talk about something that I’ve struggled with for the past several years, and that is jealousy.
As a writer and blogger, I’m in a field where I face a lot of competition. For years, I struggled with how I should treat other writers, without helping them “too much.” After all, there’s only so much space at the top.
In middle school, I refused to read The Giver by Lois Lowry, even though my friends all told me it was a great book.
The reason I avoided The Giver was a stupid reason.
I learned that the main character’s name was Jonas. But I had a character in my own story named Jonas.
I remember feeling so much anger towards Lois Lowry for this. She stole the name of my character. And since The Giver was such a famous story, I assumed there could only be one fictional character named Jonas.
So I did what any rational person would do in this situation: I told everyone that I hated The Giver. That it was a stupid book, and it was bad writing, and Lois Lowry didn’t deserve to be famous.
When in fact, I had never read it before, and I had no clue what I was talking about.
Jealousy is Natural, But Not Healthy.
When it comes to your passions and hobbies, it’s very easy to feel jealous of the competition.
However, the only person that your jealousy hurts is yourself.
Think about it– instead of begrudging every famous author who gets a big publishing contract and millions of fans, you could be pouring that energy into your own work.
Jealousy is natural, but just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s right.
Let’s say that you worked really hard on a book proposal about parenting, only to get rejected. Then, about a year later, you learn that the publisher is releasing a book about the same parenting ideas that you had. But it’s by a different author.
In this situation, you’d probably feel a little jealous, maybe even hurt.
You can set aside some time to feel those emotions, but in the long run, you’ve got to move on. By staying angry, you’ll just end up hurting yourself.
How to Deal With Other Writers When You’re Feeling Jealous
The way I’ve learned to deal with my jealousy as a writer is to follow these three rules:
- Learn from the best
- Support your peers
- Guide the newbies.
Learn From The Best
Back to my embarrassing grudge with Lois Lowry. Of course, the most rational thing to do in that situation would be to realize that more than one person can have the name “Jonas.” But how else could I work through my jealousy of Lowry’s success?
I could have paid attention to how her stories are written, and tried to figure out what makes them so relatable to young readers.
I could have looked up to her success as a writer and been inspired by it.
I could have said, “Other people can be successful, and that’s okay,” and moved on with my life.
Of course, I have since read The Giver and watched the film adaptation, and I loved both of them. In the end, I looked stupid because I allowed my jealousy to keep me from reading a really fascinating, well-written story.
If you’re like me and you struggle with envying famous authors, keep in mind that you won’t get anywhere by trying to tear them down.
Support Your Peers
Some people really struggle with this one. From a rational standpoint, this one makes a little more sense than being jealous of a famous person, because your peers are your direct competition.
Always remember to support your peers.
Even if you both write the same genre, you’re both submitting to the same publishers, and you both have the same target audience, remember to respect them.
At first, when they share their good news and writing successes, you might have to force a smile and say, “That’s great news!”
Over time, it will get easier.
Also, look at it this way– the market is narrow, but not that narrow. Multiple books can be published at the same time. You can both be successful at the same time.
Plus, it’s better to make friends than to make enemies.
Guide The Newbies
Frankly, I don’t understand this. But apparently, there are writers out there who complain about new writers entering the profession. They don’t like the newbies.
I’ve got to admit, that’s a bit beyond me. If you’re good enough to make it big as a writer, you shouldn’t feel threatened by people trying to learn how to write for the first time.
However, since I’ve seen some people acting jealous of the newbies, here are some ways to deal with that jealousy.
- Remember the first time you got good feedback on your writing? Remember how encouraged you felt? Now give that encouragement to the next generation of writers.
- There’s enough room for everyone. Don’t gatekeep the entire industry.
- Lend a helping hand if you can, and share your resources with them.
Again, it’s a lot better to make friends with all of your “competition” than to make enemies.
Originality is a Myth
In the future, I’d like to do another more in-depth post about this. However, I’ll summarize it here for you.
There is no such thing as an original story.
We’re all just remixing pieces of the same characters, plots, settings, themes… that’s all it is. It’s been that way for a long, long time.
And in the end, we’re all just remixing the alphabet.
Almost every story out there is a remix of something else. The trick is to combine enough bits and pieces from thousands of places so it feels original.
So if someone else has a similar story to you, and if you’re sure it wasn’t plagiarism, remember that we’re all remixing the alphabet here. There is nothing new over the sun.
And especially in genre fiction, it’s okay to have some shared elements with other stories.
All that to say, don’t hate on other writers because their story is similar to yours in some way.
Of course, you want to protect yourself from plagiarism, but for someone to plagiarize an entire book is pretty rare. If you find yourself getting upset that someone else is already using your ideas, it might be a sign that your writing is too predictable.
In Conclusion
Be nice to other people. Famous people, peers, or newbies, every writer is a writer because it’s their passion. And despite what the pessimists say, there will always be room in the world for more stories.
If you focus on yourself and your writing, instead of getting jealous of other writers, you’ll be able to improve a lot faster.
Sorry about the late post. I’ve been working hard to get this website moved, and it seems to be up and running!
What are your thoughts on jealousy between writers? Leave a comment and join the discussion! I look forward to hearing your opinion on this.
As always, thanks for reading, and I’ll be back soon with a new blog post!
This is a fantastic post! I was actually just discussing this same issue with a friend a few days ago. I think to a certain degree every author will struggle with comparison at some point, but moving past that is super important. And regarding your point about supporting your peers, I think there’s another very surprising benefit there that many people miss, and that’s networking. Obviously you shouldn’t view connecting with your peers as “just an opportunity” because that can get toxic quick, but also don’t ignore the benefits of having connections within the industry.
Thank you so much for your comment! Yes, networking is such a valuable benefit, you never know when it might come in handy to have connections. 🙂
Yeeeessss! I love this, and it’s definitely something writers need to talk about more.
I actually grappled with writing-related jealousy recently. I’m in a creative writing class, and it’s the first time I’ve ever been around so many other writers my age. It was oddly jarring, and I felt… defensive for some reason. But after a while, I realized that I’d wanted to connect with other writers for so long. I wanted to know people who “got it”, people to cheer on and talk about writing with, people to root for and trade critiques with and smile as I watched their journey unfold. And now that I was in a large group of such people, I was all bent out of shape about it. I decided that I wanted that to change. I still experience jealousy, like when a classmate reads a really good story of theirs to the class, because like you said, jealousy is a human emotion. However, now that I’m more conscious about it, I can remind myself to let it go, smile for the other writers out there, and tune into the positive emotions that come with being in a writing community.
Thank you so much for the comment!! I totally understand, I get jealous fairly easily so it can be tough. 😝 Keep sticking with that positive mindset— you’ve got this! 😁
Great post 🙂 Have you read Austin Kleon’s ‘Steal like an Artist?’ His take on nothing being original is very similar, and his Ted Talk on Youtube is fun to watch 🙂
Thanks for reading! 😁 I have not read “Steal Like an Artist,” but it sounds very good. I’ll have to check it out! 😊